Dear Aiden~

Dear Aiden~

Even though I have only met you a few times I feel like I knew you through your mom Reese, my best friend since childhood. I have watched you grow through pictures and read Aidenisms that would make me laugh, I have sent comforting thoughts when you were sick and mommy was worried and even though I was not there physically I was there in my heart. The things your mom and I would do as kids were fun, wacky and to say the least interesting, we were practically inseparable Grandma and Grandpa were like my second parents. Even though we had struggles mommy and I stuck together like glue. Daddy and I went to High School together, we graduated together, went to youth group together I even told mommy when she was in the 7th grade they would one day get married. When I found out you were sick my heart broke for you, for your mom, for your dad, for your family. I wanted to help to make it go away but, I did not know how to so  I prayed and prayed and sent encouraging thoughts. I wanted to grab you and hold you, hold your mom but, being so far away I was unable to. When you  moved back to the states one thing or another prevented me from being able to go to you and be there for your family so instead I prayed, cried and prayed some more. I have watched the journey of this last year rejoicing in the victories and mourning with the set backs. Watching your mom and dad and whole family being so strong, watching you be strong and standing so solid on the rock of your faith oh the have the faith of  a child like you had...seeing what the monster did to you but seeing you overcome was amazing. Aiden you are truly an inspiration to many, your great courage and strength to not give up is awe inspiring. My heart broke when I found out you were gone I want to help but again, I do not know how to. The pain your family is feeling is more then I can know, you will be missed by many some who knew you and others who don't. My heart breaks for your Mother who loves you more then any can know, for your Father who has showed great strength through all of this but, deep inside is in pain, for your brother who said you were born to make people happy, for your sister who loved you and for your little brother who was your best friend...for you I mourn but, I also rejoice for you are now walking the streets of gold playing with Jesus, and you are in no more pain. Losing you is hard but, it is not good bye, there are no good byes when we are bound for Heaven. Aiden when I do Relay for life this year I will be relaying for you and every other child that has suffered this disease. I am going to do my best to raise awareness so that one day maybe just maybe, there will be one who will survive....I love you lil man I miss you but, I will not say goodbye, just until we meet again.

That's My Thought For The Day,

Crazy for Christmas

Hello, Goodbye and Hello again

In a whirlwind of events there are a variety of emotions and thoughts that have come across my mind, a ton of questions with no answers...on one hand the joy of a father being able to protect his son and on the other the heart break of a father, mother, sister and brothers losing a son and brother. I am overjoyed for one friend and my heart is breaking for the other. Saying hello comes easy saying goodbye...Yesterday they said goodbye to their son as he went into the arms of God. For almost a year now we have been praying for life and healing to come into this little boy as he battled this monster called cancer. Not just any cancer, it was DIPG (Diffuse Intrinsic Pontine Glioma) a 0 survival rate cancer. The feelings his parents must have had I could never imagine, the pain they had the anger maybe the complete feeling of being helpless. Yet with all of this just dropped on their lives they stood up to it, they held their heads high and fought right alongside their son as he fought the toughest battle of his young life. He was the bravest little man who held fast to his faith and stood his ground against the one who is here to kill, steal and destroy. He never gave up even when things we take for granted got hard or impossible to do. He impacted so many lives and brought joy to everyone with his humor and smile. The gap he has left by being on earth can not be filled anytime soon but, Heaven is overflowing with love and joy for the newest angel that has come home. I will admit that in my prayers I started praying for Gods will to be done and not our own, I almost wish I would have been selfish and pleaded for the will of ours to be done but, with my sorrow would have come disappointment, and anger at God for not answering this prayer so fervently prayed for so long...the thing is God did answer the prayers but it was a, it is time to come home your work here is done answer...so now I question what are my friends feeling? deep heart wrenching sorrow or some relief that he is no longer suffering or a combination of both? I do not know but, now for them I pray peace, comfort and healing for their breaking hearts and the joy of one day they will again say hello...

That's my thought for the day,

Crazy for Christmas

I can't but, God can

I often ask why? why this? why that? why is there pain, suffering, hardship, sadness in our world today? I can't answer that, as much as I would love to I can't. I tell my kids all of the time I can't is NOT an option so, if it is not an option, then why can't I? Yes I know it is kind of strangely put but I put it that way so it is okay. Just because I can't does not mean it can't be done...as I said before Kutless says it best "impossible is not a word it is a reason for someone not to try". I am going to guess that as humans there are so many things we can't do but, there is someone who can. In any hard times if we look up we will find who can. I am HUMAN yep that is true and being human I often find myself struggling to want to let go of things I should never have a hold of. Letting go is not my strong suit giving up is not either I have to try and fix things instead of allowing God to...trust me it can get you into a lot of trouble. It is a lesson that needs to be learned often times over and over and okay you get it...I think. God created beauty...man created sadness, hurt, hardship and everything else all because someone listened to the wrong voice. I have also said before we make our own choices I am going to add sometimes those choices are prompted by something that wants things to go upside down and fast. God will never lead us astray, He will always guide us we just have to be willing to go in His direction not our own. I look at my life and I could say oh I am so bad off , my life is not good but, that is one party I refuse to attend because my life in comparison is not so bad after all. I wish there were no sickness, hardship, pain, sadness but there is I can not help it but, God can. He can heal, comfort, provide and cheer up. We have to make the choice to let ourselves go and let Him take over so He can do what needs to be done. It is not easy to do sometimes but, when we fall God will always catch us. I pray for the poor, weary, heavy laden, sick, sad and searching that God will touch you and you can find rest.

That's my thought for the day,

Crazy for Christmas

Fumbling Hands

I had the words "God is great even when life ain't good. When I pray it doesn't always turn out like I think it should but, I do it anyway".......I totally LOVE that song!!!!!! It has reminded me that even though my life is not exactly like I think it should be, God is still there watching me and lending a hand when I truly need Him to. I have been struggling, yes I know I seem to always struggle but, in those times is when I seem to learn and relearn the lessons I need to.....if I do not get them the first time I have to keep learning them until I get it right.....God NEVER changes we do and sometimes not always for the best. God blessed me today and I am so thankful to Him for it too. I was thinking my unemployment was ending I had been sent a letter stating that. I was really STRESSING, my family struggles as it is and to lose that money as little as it is would hurt really bad.....when I stress I make wrong choices, then I tend to make life more difficult and that stresses me even more until I think I am gonna lose it!!!!! Now let me tell you this, all along I am telling myself don't stress, it will do no good, God will provide (He always does but do I listen no not really) I usually take matters into my own fumbling hands and TADA!!!!! You got it Here She Comes Miss Makes A Mess Of Her Life.....I am no Miss America not that I want to be but, my sinner nature likes to take over. I get cranky with extra attitude on the side. God is great and He will always be great, as a human I tend to forget that and I struggle and struggle and you get the point......I have gotten in the habit of when I tell someone I am going to pray for them I do it right then and there because, I do not want to forget and not get it done. That would mean I lied and I just do not want to do that in the least little bit. We forget but, God never does, I guess the lesson here is we need to R.E.M.E.M.B.E.R~ Reach out to God, Embrace His love, Make God first, Enter His gates with thanksgiving, March to Gods drum, Bear our cross joyfully, Enjoy Gods grace, mercy and love, Receive Gods peace. As we go along in our life keep in mind our choices are ours and may not always line up with what God wants. In time God will make His will known to us we just have to wait.

That's my thought for the day,

Crazy for Christmas

Dance in the rain~

When the rain starts to fall I do not really mind at all because it blends with all my tears that cover my all my fears it relieves all my pain when I dance in the rain.......Sometimes a good old fashion cry is just good for the soul. I have for some reason been moved to tears by all sorts of things that typically  would not affect me....so, WHY is that??? I have no answer for that, I just have the urge to cry sometimes. I think that God will put things on our hearts and we have to be aware enough to know that. Maybe God has something to say and we need to listen otherwise unusual things like fits of tears just may occur at any given moment. Whatever the reason our ears need to be tuned into the God station so when things happen we can ask whats up God? What do I need to hear? Then take the time to actually listen and hear and then do what God wants us to do......im just saying.

That's my short thought for the day,

Crazy for Christmas

With rain comes Rainbows

May the Lord Bless you and keep you, may the Lord make His face to shine upon you and give you peace.

I am watching the rain just pour down, it reminds me of how God can cleanse us if we let Him. The rain cleans the dirt and grim off the roads and cleans them up so nice and pretty but, before it gets clean it can get slick and messy and can cause some problems......kinda like when God washes our lives. It starts to rain and pour and our life can get a tad slippery as He washes us clean. Here is the thing....we can let God wash us or, it can be like he is using a brillo pad on us and that can tend to hurt. Washing away us and allowing God to move in and take charge is a good thing but, sometimes our sinner nature kicks in and we resist and our journey becomes a little more difficult. It does not have to be so difficult, do not get me wrong change is not easy or always fun but, it has to happen and when it does oh joy of joy's it can be something sweet. The good thing about the rain is at the end or in the middle or whenever it so chooses some of the most beautiful rainbows appear. God's promise to us to never flood the earth again.......rainbows in our lives can come as Blessings and Blessings from God are oh so nice and the peace that comes from God is something worth basking in. What ever rain is falling in your life let God's rain fall on you and wash away the pain, frustration, worries and let His rainbow shine so bright and give you peace. I am not going to say there is a quick fix but, I will say giving it to God will make you feel better.....

That's my thought for the day,

Crazy for Christmas

It takes a village?? No it takes a Nation.....

The generation today is kinda scary. Yes I said it people need to hear it. The way kids are let loose to do what they want is well just a really sad thing. We made the news and just about the only time we make the news is because something bad has been done. There was a threat written on a wall at our local High School that on this coming Friday the ones they hate will be killed and on the following Monday everyone else will too. In the years past with the School shootings that have happened this is not to be taken lightly. Unfortunately it appears the school is down playing it....it is possible that nothing will happen but, what if ( by the way I dislike the what if game but,) something did happen what do we do then? Who is to blame? God gave us as parents the responsibility of raising our kids and even the "good" attentive parents can make mistakes but, my question is this what kind of parent do these kids that make these kind of threats have? we can raise them show them right from wrong but, ultimately the choices they make is theirs alone. I think that some parents do try their best and their kids just make wrong choices what can we do? They will only listen for so long before they tune us out....we can pray for them...yes I know not everyone believes or prays so to them I will say, I pray they have someone praying in their place. Then we have the parents that should never be parents who do not seem to care what their kids do or with whom they do it. I have to say in some cases those kids turn out alright but, not always. No matter what kind of parent we are when our kids reach the age of accountability the choices they make is all on them but, they make choices that are a reflection of us, just like when we reached that age. No one can be blamed at that point but themselves. It breaks my heart to see what our kids today are doing and what is acceptable now compared to when I was a kid. We need to stand together and pray for the kids of our nation....of our world. We need to pray that God will intervene and make a difference in their lives these kids are our future. The saying it takes a village to raise a kid well maybe so but, it is going to take a nation of prayer warriors to raise these kids we do not have a say in the raising but, we sure can keep them in prayer. Please join me in lifting the kids all over up in prayer and let the greatest Father in the universe have a hand in it. These threats need to stop it sounds like a cry out for help, we just need to listen.

That's my thought for the day,

Crazy for Christmas