In my weakness He is strong.

Hello all I am checking in I hope to do more in the upcoming weeks as I finish getting packed and moved. Two weeks ago a tragedy happened and I am telling you it is something I hope we will not ever have to endure again.  From a mom's perspective it is heart wrenching and from my child's perspective it is the end of the world devastation. My sons kitty crawled into the dryer because I left it open no one noticed her in there the clothes were still damp so I told my daughter to run it. my son found her the next morning. The heart wrenching scream that came from him I replay over and over in my head it haunts my dreams and the pain he has had to endure breaks my heart even more. My daughter blames herself because she started the dryer but, in fact if anyone is to blame it is me. I know I know it is a horrible accident but, I still blame myself. This kitty was gotten for my son to help him grieve the loss of his last kitty. If I could protect my children from all the hurts in the world I would and if I could go back and make sure the dryer was closed and no kitty was in there it would be done in a heartbeat but, I can't. I can't change the past I wish I could.....I have a saying in my house I can't is not an option but, in this case it is reality. God has many lessons in life that will hurt us, break us and hopefully make us stronger and rely on Him more. My kids blamed God at first but, I told them God did not do this to her it just happened. I have to say that sinner nature tends to make us humans blame God for everything bad that happens in life and I am here to tell you that God is not to blame. God wants us to draw near to him in the good times and in the bad. So as we enter this new year look to God for everything peace, comfort, joy, provision and lessons to be learned look at 2012 as a new beginning a new chance to deepen the relationship with our Father. I do not make resolutions they are made to be broken I make goals they are made to be met. I do not know where God will lead me but, I am prepared to follow. Where ever I wind up it is where I am supposed to be. Through tragedy we find strength if we lean on God. It is getting easier and I know the pain will lessen in the weeks to come and in my weakness He is strong. May God Bless you all.

That's my thought for the day,

Crazy for Christmas 

When things look grim...just GRIN!!!

It has been a bit since I posted but, tada here I am today woohoo. I wanted to post about a dream I had last week or the week before I really can not remember when I had it but, here it goes. I was in a city going somewhere and there was a lot of people everywhere some gangs  were all around and other people too. I was walking along knowing I was going into danger but, I was not afraid I looked danger in the face and smiled at him. I just knew there was someone watching me ready to protect me and keep me safe so I marched right on through and held my head high. this dream came when I really needed it to right now in my life I have comfort knowing God is watching me and He knows where my family will go and where we will live. I am frustrated yes but, I am not afraid I am unsure of what is going to happen but, I am sure that God is in contrrol and He is walking along side of me. As we walk into Christmas I am holding my head up and smiling at the world and saying you will not get me down I will NOT let you. I have had a lot of things happen this year from my physical well being to my spiritual well being from having a solid roof to possibly a tin one and as we close out the year I am working on staying strong and positive not only for me but, my family as well. I know that God will walk with us and at times carry us He will not let go so therefore neither will I. Merry Christmas Everyone.

That's my thought for the day,

Crazy for Christmas

The lessons in Life should be Life lessons!

I have to say that being here for less than two years I have accumulated to much stuff. It is a tad bit overwhelming to go through it all and have to pack and stack and throw away. I am sure that God is with me every step of the way and by the time Christmas break arrives my goal is to have my entire house completely packed except the necessities and Christmas...although Christmas is a necessity in this house. My kids are taking it better than I expected they are being real troopers I am thankful (yes I know November is so last month) that we can pull together as a family and get through this. I am really hoping and praying that in the end we are not fighting like cats and dogs (we all know how they get along) and will have a bond that will make us stronger as a family. There is no easy way to describe how I am feeling about all of this but, disappointment is a huge emotion right now I never in my wildest nightmares ever thought I would be in this position again yet, here I am and this time I am really trying to stay positive. I do have more peace about it even through the tears that have been shed. The only thing different about this time around is this I am trusting God to walk us through and I am determined to not let this get me down I will not go back to that dark dreary place I was in before. It is no fun being in a place of feeling abandoned and alone and like the world and God were both against me. The fact is,  they weren't against me at all at least not God. He was for me and with me and walking right along side me but, I was to busy being selfish and angry to see that. The way I see it the lessons in Life should be just that Life lessons not something we have to be continually taught we expect our kids to learn lessons with out repeating ourselves so why should we expect God to repeat Himself? The answer we shouldn't we should be teachable and I think if we allowed the lessons to be learned and kept them learned we would not have to go through the trials that we do. The world is our Classroom and God is our Teacher allowing Him to teach will help us get through this school of life so much easier then if we fight it and try to do things our way. I want to be teachable so to this situation I say BRING IT!!!! and may God find me willing to learn all He wants me to learn.

That's my thought for the day,

Crazy for Christmas

Where are you looking?

Let me just say before I begin that there are 23 days until Christmas and the Spirit is beginning to ring through the air and I am loving it. Also my internet is all wonky and I may not be able to post everyday until I get it all figured out but, when we move I may not have it all then we shall see. I see people around me struggling so much it is heartbreaking to see. I wish I could hug them and squeeze them and call them George....okay I know NOT everyone's name is George but.....the reason is when I need someone to do that for me I have someone and it is so wonderful to know that all I have to do is ask and some big loving arms will wrap themselves around me and give me peace. That is not always the case with some they tend to blame the owner of those arms and run away from Him. I am not perfect I make mistakes and some are BIG ones but, The One person who will offer me the truest comfort is not to blame. In some cases it is our own fault because of choices in others well.....circumstances beyond our control but, they are also due to choices just not ours. What it all comes down to is this Life is all about choices we have a free will and God will not force us but, Ladies and Gentlemen life will NOT be any easier if we continue making the wrong ones. God will guide us and walk us through any trial but, if we do not know, trust, rely on, or seek Him it will be a long hard (harder than normal...but, what is normal?) journey. I am still learning this one with my most currant circumstance but, I am taking a leap and trusting that God has something much better for me and my family. I am working hard on not letting it get me down if I let this get me down I will be on a downhill spiral and that is one ride that is not amusing or fun so, I am looking up and I want to encourage others to as well. Looking up you see so much more and the beauty will be enjoyed in such a way that it will amaze you. Yes I know it is winter dark, gray and gloomy but, there is beauty in it look for it, and while you are looking for the beauty you will be looking up......

That's my thought for the day,

Crazy for Christmas