Dear Aiden~

Dear Aiden~

Even though I have only met you a few times I feel like I knew you through your mom Reese, my best friend since childhood. I have watched you grow through pictures and read Aidenisms that would make me laugh, I have sent comforting thoughts when you were sick and mommy was worried and even though I was not there physically I was there in my heart. The things your mom and I would do as kids were fun, wacky and to say the least interesting, we were practically inseparable Grandma and Grandpa were like my second parents. Even though we had struggles mommy and I stuck together like glue. Daddy and I went to High School together, we graduated together, went to youth group together I even told mommy when she was in the 7th grade they would one day get married. When I found out you were sick my heart broke for you, for your mom, for your dad, for your family. I wanted to help to make it go away but, I did not know how to so  I prayed and prayed and sent encouraging thoughts. I wanted to grab you and hold you, hold your mom but, being so far away I was unable to. When you  moved back to the states one thing or another prevented me from being able to go to you and be there for your family so instead I prayed, cried and prayed some more. I have watched the journey of this last year rejoicing in the victories and mourning with the set backs. Watching your mom and dad and whole family being so strong, watching you be strong and standing so solid on the rock of your faith oh the have the faith of  a child like you had...seeing what the monster did to you but seeing you overcome was amazing. Aiden you are truly an inspiration to many, your great courage and strength to not give up is awe inspiring. My heart broke when I found out you were gone I want to help but again, I do not know how to. The pain your family is feeling is more then I can know, you will be missed by many some who knew you and others who don't. My heart breaks for your Mother who loves you more then any can know, for your Father who has showed great strength through all of this but, deep inside is in pain, for your brother who said you were born to make people happy, for your sister who loved you and for your little brother who was your best friend...for you I mourn but, I also rejoice for you are now walking the streets of gold playing with Jesus, and you are in no more pain. Losing you is hard but, it is not good bye, there are no good byes when we are bound for Heaven. Aiden when I do Relay for life this year I will be relaying for you and every other child that has suffered this disease. I am going to do my best to raise awareness so that one day maybe just maybe, there will be one who will survive....I love you lil man I miss you but, I will not say goodbye, just until we meet again.

That's My Thought For The Day,

Crazy for Christmas

Hello, Goodbye and Hello again

In a whirlwind of events there are a variety of emotions and thoughts that have come across my mind, a ton of questions with no answers...on one hand the joy of a father being able to protect his son and on the other the heart break of a father, mother, sister and brothers losing a son and brother. I am overjoyed for one friend and my heart is breaking for the other. Saying hello comes easy saying goodbye...Yesterday they said goodbye to their son as he went into the arms of God. For almost a year now we have been praying for life and healing to come into this little boy as he battled this monster called cancer. Not just any cancer, it was DIPG (Diffuse Intrinsic Pontine Glioma) a 0 survival rate cancer. The feelings his parents must have had I could never imagine, the pain they had the anger maybe the complete feeling of being helpless. Yet with all of this just dropped on their lives they stood up to it, they held their heads high and fought right alongside their son as he fought the toughest battle of his young life. He was the bravest little man who held fast to his faith and stood his ground against the one who is here to kill, steal and destroy. He never gave up even when things we take for granted got hard or impossible to do. He impacted so many lives and brought joy to everyone with his humor and smile. The gap he has left by being on earth can not be filled anytime soon but, Heaven is overflowing with love and joy for the newest angel that has come home. I will admit that in my prayers I started praying for Gods will to be done and not our own, I almost wish I would have been selfish and pleaded for the will of ours to be done but, with my sorrow would have come disappointment, and anger at God for not answering this prayer so fervently prayed for so long...the thing is God did answer the prayers but it was a, it is time to come home your work here is done answer...so now I question what are my friends feeling? deep heart wrenching sorrow or some relief that he is no longer suffering or a combination of both? I do not know but, now for them I pray peace, comfort and healing for their breaking hearts and the joy of one day they will again say hello...

That's my thought for the day,

Crazy for Christmas

I can't but, God can

I often ask why? why this? why that? why is there pain, suffering, hardship, sadness in our world today? I can't answer that, as much as I would love to I can't. I tell my kids all of the time I can't is NOT an option so, if it is not an option, then why can't I? Yes I know it is kind of strangely put but I put it that way so it is okay. Just because I can't does not mean it can't be done...as I said before Kutless says it best "impossible is not a word it is a reason for someone not to try". I am going to guess that as humans there are so many things we can't do but, there is someone who can. In any hard times if we look up we will find who can. I am HUMAN yep that is true and being human I often find myself struggling to want to let go of things I should never have a hold of. Letting go is not my strong suit giving up is not either I have to try and fix things instead of allowing God to...trust me it can get you into a lot of trouble. It is a lesson that needs to be learned often times over and over and okay you get it...I think. God created beauty...man created sadness, hurt, hardship and everything else all because someone listened to the wrong voice. I have also said before we make our own choices I am going to add sometimes those choices are prompted by something that wants things to go upside down and fast. God will never lead us astray, He will always guide us we just have to be willing to go in His direction not our own. I look at my life and I could say oh I am so bad off , my life is not good but, that is one party I refuse to attend because my life in comparison is not so bad after all. I wish there were no sickness, hardship, pain, sadness but there is I can not help it but, God can. He can heal, comfort, provide and cheer up. We have to make the choice to let ourselves go and let Him take over so He can do what needs to be done. It is not easy to do sometimes but, when we fall God will always catch us. I pray for the poor, weary, heavy laden, sick, sad and searching that God will touch you and you can find rest.

That's my thought for the day,

Crazy for Christmas