Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda!!!

 I have been having a variety of feelings, emotions and thoughts not only in my awake time but in my sleep time as well. It makes for a restless night, I have been thinking a lot about my past choices and what I could have done differently. If I had the insight I would have gone a different direction, I know I should have held my tongue or spoke up in times I said things or not said things I should or shouldn't  have. I have a case of the Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda's. We all get those at times and I am thinking there has got to be  better way to deal with them then letting doubt, regret, and every other negative thing the devil can throw our way. Once the lies come rolling in if we do not stand up and say NO the devil can take hold real quick and we go on a very unpleasant ride. Our ONE saving grace is God our Father, King and Savior. We turn to Him and let go of our sinner nature and let Him have control we can get through this. Now I have been having dreams about a certain situation and I am not sure I can control them I have often wondered how do I say stop to those? well I believe that if you just start your day with prayer then the residue will wash away kinda like a morning shower. Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda never goes anywhere good so say goodbye to them and say hello to God and what He has planned for you. satan will try to hold you with lies But God will hold you with truth only if you let Him. I leave you with a song by Matthew West that spoke to me the first time I heard it have a blessed day all.

That's my thought for the day,

Crazy for Christmas

Have you been erased?

I admit I am struggling a lil bit in some areas and, I really try not to. I am working on letting go and it is ripping my heart out....I have been erased from someone's life and it hurts I cry, I get sad and it plain sucks! Try as I might to just walk away from it there is always a reminder just lurking around the corner, waiting to jump out and yell surprise I am going to make you cry today. Recently I was unfriended on facebook only, so I am told. All because of pages I follow. I support the parents of terminally ill kids some with cancer and some not. I pray, cry and send hugs and hopefully encouragement to the families and kids themselves. I was told the parents are being selfish and I was deleted. I admit it crushed me,we still text and talk but it feels different to me. I admit I am the queen of drama as much as I dislike it and I could be totally off about it. My point I guess is this I need to learn to rise above it and let God take the reins. No matter who may erase me I know God NEVER WILL. I also know that you can not completely erase someone from your life there will always be something that will shout hey remember this person? In the mean time my feelings are my feelings and I need to let them go so God can heal my heart and help me to move on....ya easier said than done but like with any other challenging thing in life it will take determination and will power to so no to me and yes to God and His will in my life so I can rise above and keep on moving. Whether you have been erased, deleted, washed out or unfriended remember God is there always and will not leave you, He will be the constant in your life and that my friends is just way cool!

That's my thought for the day,

Crazy for Chrismas

Dream Dream Dream!

I have dreams no, not a dream, I have DREAMS!!!! In chatting with a friend the other day, we started talking about dreams, day dreaming and all sorts of other stuff. My dreams will vastly differ from others I am sure, and may very well be right on with some. What is a dream in the first place? It is an escape from what we have, a place where we can go to be free to do and have the things we want. A place to take a break from life (and that peeps is just my opinion.) That sounds rather ummmm not so content to me....just sayin but, I am guilty of dreaming too. Dreaming is not bad so please do not take it that way. I believe we need to dream it is a way to stay sane in a crazy world but, yes I said BUT!!!!!! Some dreams take over and they can be lets say unhealthy.Most I hope can keep reality and dreams in their place and separated. God can help with that He is one we should turn to when we really need an escape from our life and He is NOT a dream. God the hope and foundation of my life, my trust for where and what to do lies completely in Him....my life has been far from a "dream" but I'm coming around and learning that not all of my dreams will come true. But, God has a plan and things I have never dared to dream about have happened and I can only give God the glory for that.With that said I am not saying dreams do not come true because sometimes they really do, just remember that our dreams and God's plans may be different. Even in disappointment try to keep your eyes open and fixed on God because, what He plans I am sure will always turn out so much better then anything we could have ever dreamed of.

That's my thought for the day,

Crazy for Christmas

Growing up is hard to do.....

I often think gosh I wish I was a kid again.....yes even with a less than stellar childhood being an adult has been one chore I wish I did not have to do but, alas I must so I am. In the last year I have had some great things happen and, some not so great things and, some really awful things happen and yet I am still standing. 

My daughter struggles with school, being made fun of and the whole pre-teen thing. My son has a whole new set of struggles and challenges ahead, I am telling you growing up is hard to do. Growing up comes with responsibility, with responsibility comes decisions that only we can make yet, we do not always make the right ones and that causes drama...with drama comes hurt feelings and anger....with anger comes more wrong choices and it starts all over again. So it seems we are just playing out our childhood all over only on a bigger scale. With this all said I come to this point......We are no longer children, we need to grow up and act like responsible adults, we need to be role models for our kids but, how do we do that? By wearing out the knees of our pants in a slightly different way than our kids...When we pray God can guide us and help us live with out the drama so many seem to crave. Instead of being childish when someone does something we do not like may be we should do this instead.....

Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Be of the same mind toward one another. Do not set your mind on high things, but associate with the humble. Do not be wise in your own opinion. Repay no one evil for evil. Have regard for good things in the sight of all men. If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men.

Romans 12: 14-18

Like I said growing up is hard to do but how we grow up depends entirely on us....I am not perfect! I have to learn this all to familiar lesson too. And drama seems to be my middle name but, I am trying to learn what God wants from me and how He wants me to be. Our kids reflect us and if we have drama there is a good chance they will too.....Life is life we all grow up and drama is drama but, with God it can be a whole lot better than without Him.

That's my thought for the day,

Crazy for Christmas

Talk to THE HAND!!!!!

Once again I am sitting in the stillness of the morning....sipping my warm coffee listening for sounds of stirring kids and thinking..... contemplating....As a child I was told there was only one sin that was unforgivable according to God. That sin was Blasphemy of the Holy Spirit. I remember hearing that if you did, you had a one way ticket to the fire and brimstone motel. A motel that had a spa where you can sweat your joys away in an eternal sauna with no hope of refreshment or peace. Unforgivable, never forgiving, sounds kind of scary to me. I remember getting mad at God and yelling at Him and then, thinking I was never going to Heaven because of it, fear and grief just flooded me....as a kid. As a young adult (oh my young adult? what am I now???) I remember when I got mad at God to watch what I said and not say anything that could actually be considered blasphemy. What does blasphemy mean anyway? So glad you asked! In the Merriam Webster online dictionary Blasphemy means this- 1) The act of insulting or showing contempt or lack of reverence for God. 2) The act of claiming the attributes of deity. 3) irreverence toward something considered sacred or inviolable. Sounds pretty straight forward but, is it really? My Pastor put it in a great way (I'm paraphrasing here) blasphemy is like when someone puts up their hand in the face of the one talking because, they do not want to hear something that person has to say and says TALK TO THE HAND!!!! When a person says talk to the hand to God or the Holy Spirit, it is blasphemy and unforgivable IF, yes I said IF and its big.....IF they do it until they take their last breath, then there is no turning back. SOOOOOO God is merciful and just and, there is an escape clause to the unforgivable sin. The thing is, you have to want to take it and mean it. What is the "escape clause?" REPENTANCE, take down your hand, let God talk to you. Ask the most forgiving, kind, loving, merciful God to forgive you. Let God work in you He wants to. David a man of power sinned, He looked at a woman, slept with her, got her pregnant and then had her hubby killed to cover it all up yet, God still forgave because, David had a repentant heart. No matter what you have done in your life God is waiting for you. Take Down your defiant hand and take the loving hand of God. Let Him walk with you, talk to you and lead you. Given the choice and we all have been given THE CHOICE, I am gonna say to satan TALK TO THE HAND!!!!! To God I'm gonna say, I'm sorry, forgive me, work with me and make me who YOU want me to be. Yesterday in Church a song started running through my brain by I believe Chris Tomlin.....

                                                     I'm forgiven because you were forsaken,
                                                     I'm accepted, you were condemned
                                                     I'm alive and well, your spirit is within me,
                                                     because you died and rose again.

                                                     Amazing love, how can it be that you, my King,
                                                     should die for me?
                                                     Amazing love, I know it's true.
                                                     It's my joy to honor You, In all I do, I honor You
                                                     You are my King, Jesus You are my King.

It repeats itself but, it gets the point across don't ya think? After all that why would anyone say talk to the hand?

That's my thought for the day,

Crazy for Christmas

Turning the tables....

There is a lot I will handle not always well but, I handle it....when it comes to my kids or kids generally there is not much I will take. The issue of bullying is a real one, one that needs to be addressed. Especially when it comes to the point where the child being bullied takes matters in to their own hands and hurt themselves or worse says goodbye forever. I see with my own kids, my daughter coming home crying because she is being made fun of yet if she tells at school she gets it worse, so she tells me. I want to step in and help but the independent lil thing she is....she wants to fix it herself but, it doesn't always get fixed. As a parent when do I step in? when does mama bear come out and protect her cub? well I guess it all depends on how the child is doing but, the important thing is to LISTEN yes a six letter word that most (and I'm guilty myself) parents don't really do. What ever the reason for being bullied it makes the kid feel inadequate, they feel like they are unwanted, unloved, stupid and many more things. we need to pray for the next generation we need to band together and unite to stop the bullying it may save a life. Bulling is mean and uncalled for, making fun of people is so not cool....Hey Bully's what if it were you?

That's my thought for the day,

Crazy for Christmas

Picking up your pieces!

It has been awhile since I have written anything. I must admit my brain has been blocked from my heart and the words would not come. Actually I am not even sure how this post will come out but here it goes. I follow several pages on FB of kids who are battling cancer, I read of the heartache the parents are going through, I cry when they do and I smile at the happy words they write. My heart just gets ripped out when I read of a child who gains their wings and the pain the family feels. I can not even begin to imagine nor do I wish to know. In reading all of the posts everything I may be going through just pales in comparison. The stress I have is nothing to what they have yet, so many have faith and believe God has a plan and they trust Him through it all, the tears, the anger, the confusion the tossing and turning of the raging storm they are sailing through....so my question to you is this, if a parent losing their child can hold their faith in a loving God, why can't we the average person? We may stress over things like a fight, or a break up or even money. Its NOTHING compared to what they experience yet to most the world is ending.....I am learning this complete trust thing and, it is not easy to do, I want to hide but I can't, I shouldn't, I won't. In the last year I have lost so much  but I have gained more I am learning lessons a long time in coming. I want to encourage all who read this to think twice before you fall apart over things, realize God has His hand on you and will walk with you through it all. Keep in mind you can pick up the pieces of your life and keep going....for the parents who lose a child the pieces will never be completely picked up there will always be some missing.........

That's my thought for the day,

Cray for Christmas