Searcher of my soul

I was going to write about soul searching and learning from what I have sought but, when I looked up the meaning of soul searching the definition kinda threw me for a loop. Merriam Websters dictionary defines soul searching as: examination of one's conscience especially with regard to motives and values....I was always under the impression that it meant looking into one self and trying to find out who we are, who we wanted to be, to search and find the true us. When I started this blog a little over a year ago I did not know what to expect. I was doing "soul searching" at the time and learning once again to hear God's voice and  trying to rely only on Him. I will say it is a struggle almost like when our kids hit the terrible twos...I'm the toddler God is the parent. I can see God working in my life, His hand has always been there but, I panic when things happen that I have no control over. Instead of just trusting I try to help...we all know what happens when a toddler tries to help. God wants us to seek Him, trust Him, rely on Him, and NOT help Him.

As I start a new chapter (maybe paragraph would be a better way to put it) in my life I see struggles, frustrations, irritation and total discombobulation...God sees me, my family, my life, and how this will end up.
He sees the completion I see nothing....except negative. I don't want to see negative I want to keep my eyes on God and see only Him. I do not want to stress, and cry, and break down, I want to move forward and hold my head up, keep one foot in front of the other...the only way I can do that is, if I stop trying and start relying.....so instead of soul searching to find me, I need to reach out to the searcher of my soul, and lay it at His feet.

Our future is unknown, our past is hindsight but, our present is now. Our now should be only about God and not about me.

That's my thought for the day,

Crazy for Christmas