A Hint Of Promise.....

I saw a double rainbow yesterday, it is not often that I get the pleasure of seeing one. When I looked at them the words A Hint Of Promise just popped into my mind. I just stared at them for a long while the first or "main" one was strong and vibrant and so full of color and beauty the second was almost just a hint of a rainbow yet still so visible and colorful and just as beautiful. I am different now than I was just a few months ago, things can happen that can and will spin an entire existence out of whack to the point where the certainty of life and where it is going is called into question. My questions? will I ever get past this happening? will my family? will we ever find peace? when will the pain stop and the healing begin? Like I said in my last post I am angry so very angry. I am dealing with wounds from the past that I thought had healed yet they have been torn wide open all over again on top of the hurt that my family is feeling. I am needed to be strong for my family and my strength is wearing thin I am tired. I am Peachy!!!! or so I tell people....I feel alone. I have stopped talking  to people I have shut down and I am dealing with it on my own because I am so tried of people telling me what I should or should not feel or think. I boycotted Mothers day, I begged for a reason to go to Church and I got silence....


Then God spoke to Noah and to his sons with him, saying: "And as for Me, behold, I establish My covenant with you and with your descendants after you, and with every living creature that is with you: the birds, the cattle, and every beast of the earth with you, of all that go out of the ark, every beast of the earth. Thus I establish My covenant with you: Never again shall all flesh be cut off by the waters of the flood; never again shall there be a flood to destroy the earth." And God said: "This is the sign of the covenant which I make between Me and you, and every living creature that is with you, for perpetual generations: I set My rainbow in the cloud, and it shall be for the sign of the covenant between me and the earth. It shall be, when I bring a cloud over the earth, that the rainbow shall be seen in the cloud; and I will remember My covenant which is between Me and you and every living creature of all flesh; the waters shall never again become a flood to destroy all flesh. The rainbow shall be in the cloud, and I will look on it to remember the everlasting covenant between God and every living creature of all flesh that is on the earth." And God said to Noah, "this is the sign of the covenant which I have established between Me and all flesh that is on the earth."
Genesis 9:8-17

I am not saying that God promised life would be peaches and cream but He did Promise us not to destroy us. Also He reminds us to look to Him at all times not just in time of need. I will admit I have wanted to boycott God as horrid as that sounds but I am angry yet again (or still whatever the case may be) my head says yes but my heart says silly girl God isn't going to let you go that easily.....will I get past this? hopefully so, will I ever see that light that is always said to be at the end of the tunnel?? again I hope so, will it be easy? no not at all, will I give up??? as much as I may want to probably not. I am searching for peace, Will I forgive those who hurt me and my family?? only time will tell but, I am reminded that Matthew 18:21-22 says Then Peter came to Him and said "Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? up to seven times?" Jesus said to him, "I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven." so I really hope I do. Yesterday I saw A Hint Of Promise and it made me smile I mean really smile on my own for the first time in a long time....May God bring you peace and a hint of promise to you in your life.

That's my thought for the day,

Peachy but still Crazy for Christmas

I am Peachy!!!!!!!!!!

When life gives lemons make lemonade right??? So what about if life gives you rotten lemons???? What do you make then??? I have always tried to keep my posts upbeat and positive and all about God, today I am frustrated, angry, hurt and so much more I am not sure how to make something sweet out of a situation so sour. I have people who are a support and people who are praying but, what do I do when I am angry at God? Me personally I go to Church (at least I did yesterday) even if I did not feel like it, I listened to the message and absorbed what the Pastor was teaching (well I tried to) and I told people I am peachy  (I do not think they believed me). I am angry at the world, life and it's unfairness, people who shall remain nameless and at my Pastor and I do not even know why I am angry with him he has been so kind and loving and supportive through this ooey gooey yucky sour lemon mess and yet I am angry. I have been diving into my Bible looking for something just choosing random books to read hoping to stumble upon something to bring peace. I will admit it is the most I have read my Bible at one time in my life...I am searching for something and I know the answer is in there so I keep going. Yet I am still angry at people who have been nothing but kind and not in anyway involved in this ooey gooey lemon mess. I cry everyday and, I have feelings that I am told I should not have to feel yet, I can not help how I feel. I am told to release it to God and ya'll know I am always saying let go and let God....I am finding it easier said than done. It came to pass yep Mark Lowry has it right I just wish it would not have come at all it could have passed with out stopping by my life. But, pass it shall and I will come out of it at some point in time and maybe peace will come then too. I have debated on whether to post this one or not and it has certainly taken more time to write than usual, and I know there is a lesson in here to be learned not only by me but maybe someone else too. I am human, I am sinner I have bad days and I yell at God sometimes but, one thing I have hung on to is God is grace, love, kindness, forgiveness, mercy and there He is ALWAYS there no matter how mad I get at Him or how much I yell at Him, He NEVER leaves me. Deuteronomy 31:8 says And the Lord, He is the One who goes before you. He will be with you, He will not leave you nor forsake you; do not fear nor be dismayed. Am I still angry? Why yes, yes I am and God will have to work with me on that one, Am I still angry at my Pastor? No not so much anymore (but, admittedly yesterday I was when I started writing this post) I love my Pastor and the teachings he does and the sour lemon thingy is not his fault. I pray you are having blessing come down in your life and when life gives you lemons make a cheesecake, as for me???  I am peachy at least for now!

That's my thought for the day,

Crazy for Christmas

The Big IF!!!!!!!!!

I am sitting here drinking my dark chocolate fudge coffee listening the the soft Christmas music drifting from my son's room as he sleeps, (Yes He loves it as much as I do and sleeps with it every night) and I am thinking (yes I said I am thinking haha). I am thinking about where I am in my life, the things I see happening to people around me good and not so good, and my kids. My daughter struggles with faith in God and I admit so do I sometimes she sees someone who was not honest about something get rewarded and then she looks at where we are and asks me why??? she told me the other day "mom I have spent half my life in this trailer" it made me think about how that must be making her feel. she can not invite friends over we do not have the room, she gets made fun of in school so she tries not to let people know that we live in a trailer. How do I help her with that? I tell both my kids God has blessed us and they ask how? we do not see it....so with that I have to think back and realize just how much we have been blessed and I tell them. I admit they are not huge in comparison but, they are blessings just the same for instance I have been looking for a free or cheap washer I found one now I do not have to wash clothes by hand anymore...BLESSING!!!!! I have to walk everywhere I go these days sometimes I have to catch the bus to the next town that walk to the bus stop one way is a mile sometimes I get a ride BLESSING!!!!!!!! the days the sun shines in the midst of rain BLESSING!!!! So even in times of frustration I find blessings and I tell my kids about them. I have a blessing jar that I believe I mentioned in a past post I try to write all of these things down so at the end of the year I can see the blessings I have had. I try to be positive for my kids sometimes without success but, in those times I always get reminded of God's hand in my life and I try to just breathe. I see struggles all around with my friends, family and people I do not know and I pray for peace, joy, wisdom, comfort and provision for those people and yes for us too. I try to be happy for those that have good things come their way I really do but I admit I often wonder when is it our turn? I know I know I talk about trusting God all of the time but, I am human and I do ask. I admit I get my hopes up about things most of the time to get them crushed but, I am then reminded that in God's perfect time things will happen. People God's perfect time is NOT our perfect time plain and simple! I remind myself daily trust God, this year I claimed a home and a good running car and I am still claiming it my Pastor said a while ago do not be afraid to ask for the big stuff, we as believers tend to ask for the small stuff. So I have asked God for the big stuff now I wait for His time, I am praying that I do not yank the wheel back and try to hurry things along. I leave you with this....Matthew 17:20 So Jesus said to them, Because of your unbelief; for assuredly, I say to you, if you have faith as a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there', and it will move; and nothing will be impossible for you.
God IS in control no matter the situation in life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IF we will only let go and let Him have it things will be so much better.

That's my though for the day,

Crazy for Christmas

What do Your Decisions say about you???

I have slacked some the last few months but, I am here today. Decisions we make in life will make the way for our life they also say a lot about who you are. If we choose to do our own thing not thinking of God's will or the people in our life we can see some not so nice things working....but, what if we strive to do what God wants and think of others and we still see some not so nice things in our life what then???? The decision is yours, we can let anger, bitterness, hatred, and deceit from the devil take over our lives or we can stand up and say ok God I get it where do I go from here??? Trust that 5 letter word that I am still working on it comes into play the thing is WE NEED TO TRULY HAVE IT!!!!! Hi my name is Billie  I have trust issues, I have no home, no car and I can not volunteer anymore in the schools because I have no way to get there....am I angry??? oh ya I am....one of the things I love to do the most has been taken away from me and I am so very frustrated and angry but, in the past God has blessed me with transportation through a friend then, it suddenly became unavailable but, is was to expensive for my family anyway yet He still provided and now........I am stuck...I know that He will continue to provide and there has to be a lesson in here somewhere right??? Last week I was told I am to used to being needy and I expect way to much from people who are helping....it broke my heart I HATE asking for help and this help was offered to me....so THE DECISION???? I am not asking anymore (except from God) I do not want to be seen in that light I want God to shine through me. I want people to look at me and see God shining in my actions, reactions and everything I do. I want to be an example for my kids and others I want them to see how I am in rough times and only by the grace of God will I come through it. May God bless you in your life and decisions.

That's my thought for the day,

Crazy for Christmas

Count Your Blessings~

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year all, it has been a bit since I have written but, I thought this day being the last day we will ever see in 2013 I should.

I have to say this year went really fast it seems like only yesterday we started and today we are saying goodbye. I have struggled quite a bit this year my faith has been shaken but, I stood strong with the help from some of my friends and most importantly God. I have faced challenges I am unsure of, I have experienced yet again the lack of space in my home. I am currently with out a car and my son has newly been diagnosed with Aspergers and I am dealing with an emotional 12 year girl who is trying to figure life out (I was there once I really hope I was not this extreme with my mom) with all of that, I look back and see where God carried me and I am eternally thankful. I am a firm believer in claiming things in my life , in my faith in so much and for 2014 I am claiming for my family Joy, peace, happiness, and more. I am claiming the seed of a thankful heart and a joyful countenance to grow and blossom in the hearts of my family and myself. I am claiming good things to happen for us, I am claiming direction and guidance for my life for my children and my Husband. I am claiming more of God and less of me, I am claiming Gods provision and blessings in the coming year. I am claiming wisdom, strength, courage, grace, and humbleness. I am going to count my blessings instead of dwell on the one thing after another that seems to happen. I am going to disown Murphy and ignore his law. I am claiming joy, blessings, hope, love, peace, kindness for all of you as well. When school starts back and I am volunteering, I am going to make a blessings jar, so that during the year I can write down with the date everything good that has happened and exactly one year from today, I am going to read them. I offer a challenge to you today do not resolve to do anything claim it, pray about it and let God lead you where He wants you to go. start a blessing jar and watch it fill up. God be with you as you start the New Year, what ever challenges come up, let God help you to face them He will.....Count your blessings my friends Happy New Year.

That's my thought for the day,

Crazy for Christmas,

Reminiscing.....

Just a really short and sweet post I have today, I was going through old posts and saw my version of the night before Christmas and I wanted to re-share it here I hope you enjoy it.

The Christmas light in the dark......

There is a heaviness that has settled upon our Country like a thick fog, it is hard to see and navigate our lives with it. All over there are people who are struggling with so many different things, depression, anger, hopelessness, grief, loss of income, home, car. What ever it is the overwhelming heaviness has made it's presence well known. With the Holidays upon us it gets heavier, this year seems to be no exception. I have even felt it's pull a little and my first thought is just let go and go with the flow but, I do not like going with the flow per say, I tend to do things that are not the norm and in this I am determined to do just that. I want to be a light in the fog, and of course it has to be a Christmas light shining oh so beautifully bright. I am just one but, if people decided to stand with me one light at a time and shine with all of their hearts maybe we could shine through the fog and become the light in the dark. It is time to stand and take back our Country blow away the fog and allow some joy to come back and say hello. It is sad that joy has been sucked out and replaced with so many negative feelings. God wants us to be the light in the dark and I am asking you to shine with me and bring some hope back into the lives of people around us. Find joy in little things find something to be grateful for in the bad and realize there are so many out there who are far worse off. That my friends is a lesson I am learning myself, Not an easy one for sure but if you learn it well maybe it will not have to be relearned. I am no Job but I have had my share of trials and I still am but, God is my strength and I am determined to tirelessly shine!

Merry Christmas

That's my thought for the day,

Crazy for Christmas