Merry Christmas Eve 6 months early!!!!!

Yes it is indeed exactly 6 months from Christmas Eve and I have decided on a new tradition for my family (because I just love traditions). But, before I get to telling you about it I am going to sidetrack just a smidge. if you have been reading the previous posts you may have gathered there is something up with the family. It has been tremendously difficult on all of us hence the new tradition (in hoping for uplifted spirits). There have been some people who have been there and I want to thank you for your support and you know who you are. There have been some who have said they were supportive but......well it was not so much supportive and somewhat hurtful. I am not sure you know who you are but, I refuse to name names. With that said I am still peachy and there is a long road ahead but, I am hoping that there is hope to be found in this post so that it may help someone who may need to be uplifted.

On the day before the 6 months until Christmas (THE GREATEST BIRTHDAY EVER) the house was busy with preparations for the half yearly Christmas celebration. The decorations were already up because they really didn't come down (well sort of the cats love to play with them). Harry Connick Jr was playing Christmas music while there was tons of things to be done. There were stockings to be hung, lights to be lit and gifts to be wrapped. and dinner to be made but, mostly there was Jesus to remember and the reason we have that special day. Why? you ask do I celebrate everyday of every year? Well I will tell you because, we should celebrate Jesus everyday and spread the love, joy, peace, goodwill toward all, kindness and all the things that surround Jesus. Christmas is ALL about Him so why should we only celebrate for a season? Even in my struggles I celebrate because without Jesus I would be so very lost. I struggle with my faith but, in my struggles I see God's hand on my life I have seen Him provide when I thought all was lost. I will tell you that His answers are not always what I want to hear but, then I am reminded He has something better in store for my life. I have to be patient that little 7 letter word which at times can seem so ginormous and something I never ask for but, God seems to find a way to teach me. Waiting has never been a strong quality in me and at times I stomp my foot and yell at God about something......for instance before I got my car back I was walking the mile to the bus in the pouring down rain. I was yelling at God and I said WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY???? THAT I'M THANKFUL TO BE WALKING??? FINE I'M THANKFUL TO BE WALKING!!!!!! not more than 2 minutes later a friend of mine who was going to work early in the opposite direction pulled over and offered me a ride. Not just to the bus station but, all the way to where I was headed. Talk about being humbled wow....so I guess my whole point is Jesus is there 24/7 so in turn we should thank Him, love Him, talk to Him, CELEBRATE HIM at all times not just for a short season. He will be there if you only ask. Merry Christmas may Joy, Love, Faith, Peace and Goodwill be ever present in you and your life.

That's my though for the day,

Still Peachy but so very Crazy for Christmas

Who Am I Again??

A question I have been wondering about a lot lately is Who Am I??? at one time I would have said with out hesitation I am A Child of the ONE true King as Matthew West puts it but, today I stand wondering WHO AM I??? I do not know anymore. As you all may have figured out there has been some unpleasant things happening in my life and in the lives of my family. There is tons of anger, and blame for what is going on being put on to some who had nothing to do with what happened. They just happened to be in the crossfire of it. The unfortunate thing is it is tearing relationships apart and there is no way of knowing if time will heal the wounds. Without actually going into details about what happened I will share what is happening to me before you think how selfish, this is only my part of the story there is so much more to it. I am going through a sort of grieving process or so I have been told. I will probably go through it longer than some in my family again so I have been told. I am angry at the world (I guess that is at just about everyone), I feel no one cares, I feel all alone in this, I feel like I have to do it on my own, I cry, I yell, I scream usually at God because I know He will listen and not get irritated with me or remind me it is not about me. I have to be the pillar of strength for my family, I have to act like I am ok when I am peachy I have to listen, take the anger directed toward me (because of the situation) and not bat an eyelash....I am expected to carry on and not work through it because it is not about me. BUT (and that is a big one) I experienced this in my past, I am remembering the struggle and hurt I had then, on top of going through it and supporting the one who is experiencing it now. Double whammy is an understatement of the century yet, I am expected to be the champion and my strength is growing weak. I have tried to reach out and feel shut out so I am done reaching. I have deactivated my FB and I do not know if I will ever return. I have been told don't shut people out but honestly God is the ONLY one who I think I can count on. My friends have their own struggles so I do not want to burden them with mine. I will admit there are one or two I feel I can talk to and I do via text sometimes. The days I feel overwhelmed and want to do nothing but cry....I do it on my own. So for now I am turning to God the only ear who will not turn away. I am combing through my Bible. While reading I come across things that I want to ask questions about because I want to learn but from now on I just don't ask.....so I guess in answer to my question or at least a part of the answer is yes I am a child of the One true King and I am thankful for that, it is the most important part of me, yet it is not all of me but, I still have not figured it all out. This has changed me and I am not sure I like it but that is for me to figure out on my own. This song was running through my head when I woke up this morning I am sure I posted this before but here it is again by Matthew West

Have a blessed day and remember if you feel like there is no one just lean on God a little more.

That's my thought for the day,

Peachy but still Crazy for Christmas